How do i get my old self back?

Assalamualaikum.

Bismillah for a new update.

Today, I feel like writing an update about missing my old self. I have always been known as a soft-spoken, sweet and polite girl. It was like that since I was in school. I did not realize that I have slowly leaving these traits quite a long time ago.

I always feel bad with myself for changing. I be like, "HOW did I lose it?". Those feminine traits were like a pride for me. I used to be very soft..... 

If I were to think about it in a positive way, I would say I have developed my personality and overall character into someone who is more determined, confident, outspoken and decisive. This is probably because I was very active back in my Diploma days and without I realized, I have slowly developed those traits. Hence, I've lost the soft-spoken, sweet and polite side of me :(

As for certain people, that should be a good self-improvement. Because most softy are always being taken for granted aite? However, I still feel kinda upset and I do not think that I am able to go back to my old self back. People I've known starting from my university days until now has gotten to know me as the current me. There is no way for me to turn back to my old self.

Sometimes I do feel jealous whenever I look at any soft girls I met. Whatever they are wearing, whatever words coming from their mouth.. they portray feminine, tender and sweet look. You know, the look that all in laws would love to see.

People always say, "just be yourself" or "love yourself". Well to be honest, I also don't know which one is the real me..