:(

This semester, I learn that I am no longer a workaholic. I meant, yelaaaaa I'm still a student and not yet working but holding a position in a society can also be considered as working righttt. I've retired from becoming a so-called workaholic. I can't feel the happiness in working anymore. Sometimes, I feel like those workloads and meetings are burdening. MashaAllah, how could I say this. 

I gave up. I cried. I was feeling so dumbfounded thinking about what I did throughout last semester. Did I struggle on my studies or kept on being playful because I know I was in my comfort zone? That was bad, man. I was cruel for denying those advices that came from both of my parents. They were so worried because I was more into tasks and events and not prioritizing my studies.

Redha? Ya Allah. I don't know how to say this but I seriously took away my parents' hope. I've tried my very best to accept the reality that I can no longer be an ANC student soon but keep on making myself busy with those tasks ain't help much. Recently, I admit that I have studied hard before common test but the results are......... you know what I meant. Again, failed to make my parents proud with me.

I consciously said this to mama, "Ma, I don't think my brain is functioning right. Where does all the knowledges I've memorized? What's wrong with my brain maaaa?" I was in tears. I nagged. And then I slept. Sorry for making you feel burdened all the time ma. I have you to listen to all my nags when I was down but I sometimes forgot to call you and told you whole story during my good days. I know I am such a bad daughter.

I know life doesn't always go our way. Ya Allah, if this is one of the challenges you give me, please help me to overcome this challenge and try to make it better from day to day. I was wronged for refusing your fate.  I need to make my parents proud of me. I need to be confident in accountancy. I can no longer become such a worse student. I need to show a good example to my juniors. Help me, ya Allah :(