Alhamdulillah.

Awak tahu Allah pilih orang yang istimewa untuk diuji?

Apabila Allah uji kita, itu bermakna Dia sayangkan kita

Bersangka baik dengan Allah

Allah tak pernah kejam terhadap hamba-Nya

I am so proud of myself. I have zero regrets of being terminated. Allah knows that it was already hard for me to work in that kind of environment. Most people would say that I am very demanding and cannot cope with working under pressure or stressful environment. I also know as a fresh graduate it is tough to find a job but it is tougher to work in an environment where you feel less appreciated. I heard enough about graduates who choose to pursue their studies to a higher level just because they had career trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with their first job experience.

I won't say that was a toxic environment but I experienced such a toxic work environment symptoms. Every single day, I did not want to wake up and go to work. Not because I was lazy or feeling tired, but I am physically and mentally exhausted. I felt like working was so troublesome. Every day I had the intention to quit but I did not. My parents are my perpetual strength. Sometimes I went to the toilet for more than 10 minutes just because I want to avoid my boss. There were certain days that I need to go here and there on behalf of him, and I purposedly book a grab around the time he got into office. Why? Obviously because I want to avoid my boss! I was a bad employee. But heyyy, i had my reasons.

Working as a Personal Assistant means you need to work closely and communicate directly with your boss. But that was not something I experienced. Perhaps, because I got less guidance. Not less. I mean, less to almost no guidance? There you go. I avoided communicating any issues and tried to figure out the solution on my own because I was scared of being scolded. Hence, I did my work slower than others. Well, less interaction means fewer issues. But ended up, getting scolded anyways. I stressed my boss. He stressed me out too. 

So, listen. Allah knows best. Allah knows that I've tried to stay and He pulls me out from this situation at the right time; when I am at my home, spending time with my family. I know it is a sin to give up. But I always have faith in Him. This experience has its own pros and cons. Yes, I had a nightmare working experience for 3 months but it taught me to choose a better job in the future.

"Submitting to the will of Allah and leave all the affairs to Allah is like lifting a heavy load off your shoulders"

Alhamdulillah.