Assalamualaikum & hi.
I do not know whether I am good at hiding feelings or I am just practicing on being a solitude enthusiast or I am trying to encourage myself to become such an unbothered person. There were many things that played on my mind these past few weeks. I cannot help myself from thinking about this. But to let it out, I failed. I might make my friends feel uncomfortable with what's on my mind. Perhaps they are currently at their peak of happiness. Hmm, some things are better left unsaid, right? Thus, I'm just going to express it here.
I really want to be grateful for whatever He blessed me. Family, friends, shelter, clothes, health, etc. But.. comparing. Haih. Seeing others have a stable career, engaged, married with kids.. I cannot stop myself from comparing until I sometimes have some sort of jealousy. I believe at this age, this is normal. But, this is bad.
In order to re-center my mind and heart, I watch many videos about rezq. Basically, their points are all the same. Grateful. Ladies and gentlemen, everybody's path are different. Yes, you cannot help but compare. However, do not compare your life with others who have a better life than you. Try to look from the other side. There are so many people in this world who do not have what we have. And what's worse, sometimes they need to ask. Dear, if you think in this way, trust me.. you will be more grateful.
You feel lacking because you are still unemployed? Be grateful. Another person might have a job but is dealing with super stressful workloads and a toxic working environment.
You feel down because you still have not found a lifetime partner? Be grateful. Another person might already found their lifetime partner, got married but ended up, not feeling happy or even going through a divorce. Nauzubillahminzalik.
You feel bad for not being able to contribute to your parents at this age? Be grateful. You are still with them, living in the same house with them, got to spend time helping them with house chores and make them laugh.
Same goes to health, money, etc... With our limited awareness, please look back at both ups and downs of the reality that we are currently living in.
Allah has created our path.
It is all about His timing.
Sabar.
Hi Ziera! I think it's really brave of you to open up about your feeling of insecurities with other people. It's not something that many are comfortable to disclose with others despite, how I'm sure, we all have some levels of insecurities. But like you said, sometimes it never hurts to take a step back and see how far Allah has helped you to get to where you are. Whether we realise it or not, I think we've all achieved something great each day, even if it's little by little. And it's also fine if we fall, that's just how life works. But we, including myself, just need to remember that we'll reach our dreams at some point later in the future. We just need to keep on going.
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Subhanallah, thanks a lot. Your comment really made my day. Yessss, dear. Have faith :)
DeleteHi Ziera, last time I have read one post from social media which is about "We have our way and people also have their way" After I read I started to realize I should not compare instead I should grateful what I have. But I can say sometimes I feel so insecure. We are all human, we cannot run from that feeling. I hope you are okay!
ReplyDeleteSuper grateful to receive such comment from you :) So true. Afterall, we're human right..
DeleteHi ziera! nice sharing, your feeling is valid. we are humans we just can't get away from it. But because you recognise your feeling you are able to improve yourself. InsyaAllah there's always a rezq for us!
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